[ So Poe's been in bed, staring at the screen for a good hour trying to think of what he should say. Not saying anything at all isn't an option, as it rarely is for him. He just... needs to know that she's okay. ]
I've missed you. I know it actually hasn't been that long since I saw you, but it kind of feels like last week took up a few years worth of time.
[ There's an odd rush of nerves when she sees Poe's name pop up on her device, the past week not only leaving her struggling sometimes to parse out reality from whatever the city did but also making her wonder how much of it is going to impact her real relationships with people in the aftermath. But it's nothing compared to the warm excitement that spreads through her when she reads the first part of his message. ]
At minimum. I'm honestly wondering if I should start saying I'm older than I actually am. But then you'd have to do that as well, so maybe not such a good idea.
[ As more time passes that whole week feels more like a dream, almost like the memories that he was experiencing as dreams at the time, but some of things that happened are vivid enough that he probably couldn't forget them even if he wanted to. ]
Probably not, I'm not ready to tell people that I'm forty.
I mean, during it was totally fine, obviously. But even though knowing they can mess with our heads like that is super creepy, it actually wasn't that bad?
I had a pretty good life and I was super happy. Not that I'm not as regular me, aside from being trapped here.
[ Especially happy after Poe told her he loved her, which she's not even sure if she should bring up. Maybe he doesn't remember it. Maybe it's become hazy at best for him, like a fair amount of her own memories. ]
I'm glad I didn't lose you through all of it, too.
That's how I feel about it too. Not a fan of them messing with my head, but if they were going to make up a whole other life for me then they could have done a lot worse than that.
[ That's the bantha in the room as far as Poe's concerned. He remembers it very well, probably because it's been hard to get off of his mind since then, and it's a very good memory, but bringing it up feels like it could be ruining a good thing now. He had something to offer her then, other Poe had some things figured out, but here? Maybe not so much.
Obviously it doesn't have to be a big thing. He loves his friends, that's easy, but Clary is... special. ]
They'd have their work cut out for them if they wanted to keep me away from you.
[ Perhaps not in the eyes of whoever was responsible for it, but tearing people apart or making them completely forget about people who are important to them? It's far, far worse than creating intricately fabricated relationships.
Though in her and Poe's case, there was a foundation to build it from, for sure. ]
Even if you didn't remember who I was? But seriously, same here. Maybe that's why they didn't even try. We are pretty equally hard-headed, after all; they might've known it would be a lost battle.
Although it does surprise me that they didn't put us into a contract or something.
[ Though maybe if it had lasted longer, that's where they would've ended up. After all, Clary had been ready to make that commitment, had Poe not been so tied up in other things. ]
I don't think blocking memories would have been enough. I'd run into you sooner or later, and we'd find our way right back here. Maybe without the part where I went down on you in a locker room the day we met, but you know how it is. I would have wanted to see you again even if we just said hello instead.
[ He is very much tied up in other things, things he was ready and willing to let go of then, in that other reality where their lives were different but still the same in a lot of ways. And he can see exactly how he came to that conclusion.
Maybe that's the hard part to get over now. The part where he can understand exactly how they'd get to that, that wasn't fabricated either. It's almost too easy to imagine what living with Clary would be like. ]
It seemed like things were headed that way. It would have been a nice way to spend the week. Not that what we ended up with was bad.
You make it sound like we're destined to find one another, you know. If you're not careful, I'm going to start thinking you're getting all sappy with me. For the record, though, it wasn't you going down on me that day that made me want to see you again. But it also didn't hurt.
[ If anything, it was the fact that he was so willing to help a complete stranger and that he was kind about it. Too many others would've just taken advantage of the situation and not thought twice about it; Poe was considerate and sweet, and made a pretty strong impression on her, tongue skills aside. ]
It was pretty nice, wasn't it? Though it's all starting to feel more and more dreamlike now. Like we didn't actually live any of it.
That's not what I meant, but I don't know if I believe in coincidences anymore. I'm just saying, we're stuck together in one city, they throw us into parties together all the time, I could only go so long without seeing you. And knowing me like I do, I'd have to introduce myself.
[ It's all good now, he'd just had some seriously mixed feelings about it at the time. A lot of which came from the fact that she was so young, but getting to know her better had settled those concerns — sure, they've got an age gap thing going, but it's not any kind of obstacle for them. ]
Yeah. But it was real, at least the parts that actually happened, not so much on the fake memories.
Do you ever wonder about where we'd be if the circumstances had been different? Around the way we were dropped in here.
Oh. Yeah, that makes sense. I doubt it would take all that long for you to see me, though. I tend to stand out with the red hair and runes and everything. But you really think we'd be where we are now, without that first crazy meeting?
[ The age thing isn't an obstacle for them, but if they're talking hypotheticals, she can't help but wonder if it would have been one had their first encounter been a little more PG-13. ]
Yeah. Which would've complicated things, had we actually gotten around to signing a contract. Not that I would've been upset about it now, not even a little, I just know you wanted to make sure you signed with someone who also took on Finn. And while I would've done that without a second thought, I wouldn't want either of you feeling obligated or with me just because of the city's games.
[ Stop before you make that worse, Fray... ]
Like if we'd been brought here at the same time instead of you having a couple years on me? Or us not being the same designation at first?
[ There are a significant number of circumstances he could mean and while the short answer is yes, she wants a better idea of what he means. ]
I know. I always knew that, before you even offered. There's only three people in this whole city that I would trust completely with anything, and you're one of them. No matter what happens. I'd never need an obligation to want to be with you.
[ His reasons for being set on a contract from the moment this happened didn't have anything to do with a lack of trust or Clary lacking in anything. She's honestly amazing exactly the way she is. Anybody would be lucky to be contracted to her. ]
Either. Both. Mostly the first one.
i somehow lost this notif!! i remember getting it, but it's not in my inbox!!! smh
[ It's amazing how those three little words, like a few others that he said to her during that week, make her feel genuinely gleeful. Honestly, the way she smiles reading it is more than a bit embarrassing. ]
I do, too.
[ Imagining any sort of life in Duplicity that doesn't involve Poe is impossible, truth be told.
As for the rest of that, well— It hits Clary just as hard, heart beating a bit faster in her chest, and she suddenly feels like they've blown right past her being a complication for him. ]
I feel the same way, Poe. No matter what.
[ No joking or teasing this time, just the flat-out truth. ]
I do, yeah. Not like all the time or anything, though maybe more often recently. Even before that week in our fake lives. Maybe that's part of what inspired them.
[ It would be really easy to say too much at this point, and he really doesn't want to ruin this, because this past week? It was good. And there's no reason to let that be anything but something nice that they have, without dragging complications into it all. He's just got a lot on his mind lately, even before those fake lives, and the last thing he wants is to drag anyone else into that.
He'll have to open up about it sooner or later, it's pretty inevitable, but... just not here and now.
It's too rare to just be happy for a while here, without something going sideways and making things difficult. Clary deserves to be happy. ]
So what else did you wind up in when I wasn't there? Anything new and scandalous?
Well, you knew about the job change, which was probably the most scandalous. And even that doesn't count considering stripping is probably a rite of passage for actual natives.
The whole polyamory thing was definitely new, though. But you knew about that, so... Not much else, I guess. It was pretty standard stuff for the most part.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
text; un: flyboy
I've missed you.
I know it actually hasn't been that long since I saw you, but it kind of feels like last week took up a few years worth of time.
no subject
At minimum. I'm honestly wondering if I should start saying I'm older than I actually am.
But then you'd have to do that as well, so maybe not such a good idea.
I've missed you, too.
no subject
Probably not, I'm not ready to tell people that I'm forty.
How was it for you? Living that life?
no subject
But even though knowing they can mess with our heads like that is super creepy, it actually wasn't that bad?
I had a pretty good life and I was super happy.
Not that I'm not as regular me, aside from being trapped here.
[ Especially happy after Poe told her he loved her, which she's not even sure if she should bring up. Maybe he doesn't remember it. Maybe it's become hazy at best for him, like a fair amount of her own memories. ]
I'm glad I didn't lose you through all of it, too.
no subject
[ That's the bantha in the room as far as Poe's concerned. He remembers it very well, probably because it's been hard to get off of his mind since then, and it's a very good memory, but bringing it up feels like it could be ruining a good thing now. He had something to offer her then, other Poe had some things figured out, but here? Maybe not so much.
Obviously it doesn't have to be a big thing. He loves his friends, that's easy, but Clary is... special. ]
They'd have their work cut out for them if they wanted to keep me away from you.
no subject
[ Perhaps not in the eyes of whoever was responsible for it, but tearing people apart or making them completely forget about people who are important to them? It's far, far worse than creating intricately fabricated relationships.
Though in her and Poe's case, there was a foundation to build it from, for sure. ]
Even if you didn't remember who I was?
But seriously, same here. Maybe that's why they didn't even try.
We are pretty equally hard-headed, after all; they might've known it would be a lost battle.
Although it does surprise me that they didn't put us into a contract or something.
[ Though maybe if it had lasted longer, that's where they would've ended up. After all, Clary had been ready to make that commitment, had Poe not been so tied up in other things. ]
no subject
I'd run into you sooner or later, and we'd find our way right back here.
Maybe without the part where I went down on you in a locker room the day we met, but you know how it is. I would have wanted to see you again even if we just said hello instead.
[ He is very much tied up in other things, things he was ready and willing to let go of then, in that other reality where their lives were different but still the same in a lot of ways. And he can see exactly how he came to that conclusion.
Maybe that's the hard part to get over now. The part where he can understand exactly how they'd get to that, that wasn't fabricated either. It's almost too easy to imagine what living with Clary would be like. ]
It seemed like things were headed that way.
It would have been a nice way to spend the week. Not that what we ended up with was bad.
no subject
If you're not careful, I'm going to start thinking you're getting all sappy with me.
For the record, though, it wasn't you going down on me that day that made me want to see you again.
But it also didn't hurt.
[ If anything, it was the fact that he was so willing to help a complete stranger and that he was kind about it. Too many others would've just taken advantage of the situation and not thought twice about it; Poe was considerate and sweet, and made a pretty strong impression on her, tongue skills aside. ]
It was pretty nice, wasn't it?
Though it's all starting to feel more and more dreamlike now. Like we didn't actually live any of it.
no subject
I'm just saying, we're stuck together in one city, they throw us into parties together all the time, I could only go so long without seeing you. And knowing me like I do, I'd have to introduce myself.
[ It's all good now, he'd just had some seriously mixed feelings about it at the time. A lot of which came from the fact that she was so young, but getting to know her better had settled those concerns — sure, they've got an age gap thing going, but it's not any kind of obstacle for them. ]
Yeah. But it was real, at least the parts that actually happened, not so much on the fake memories.
Do you ever wonder about where we'd be if the circumstances had been different?
Around the way we were dropped in here.
no subject
I doubt it would take all that long for you to see me, though. I tend to stand out with the red hair and runes and everything.
But you really think we'd be where we are now, without that first crazy meeting?
[ The age thing isn't an obstacle for them, but if they're talking hypotheticals, she can't help but wonder if it would have been one had their first encounter been a little more PG-13. ]
Yeah. Which would've complicated things, had we actually gotten around to signing a contract.
Not that I would've been upset about it now, not even a little, I just know you wanted to make sure you signed with someone who also took on Finn.
And while I would've done that without a second thought, I wouldn't want either of you feeling obligated or with me just because of the city's games.
[ Stop before you make that worse, Fray... ]
Like if we'd been brought here at the same time instead of you having a couple years on me?
Or us not being the same designation at first?
[ There are a significant number of circumstances he could mean and while the short answer is yes, she wants a better idea of what he means. ]
no subject
[ No coincidences necessary. ]
I know.
I always knew that, before you even offered. There's only three people in this whole city that I would trust completely with anything, and you're one of them.
No matter what happens.
I'd never need an obligation to want to be with you.
[ His reasons for being set on a contract from the moment this happened didn't have anything to do with a lack of trust or Clary lacking in anything. She's honestly amazing exactly the way she is. Anybody would be lucky to be contracted to her. ]
Either. Both.
Mostly the first one.
i somehow lost this notif!! i remember getting it, but it's not in my inbox!!! smh
I do, too.
[ Imagining any sort of life in Duplicity that doesn't involve Poe is impossible, truth be told.
As for the rest of that, well— It hits Clary just as hard, heart beating a bit faster in her chest, and she suddenly feels like they've blown right past her being a complication for him. ]
I feel the same way, Poe.
No matter what.
[ No joking or teasing this time, just the flat-out truth. ]
I do, yeah. Not like all the time or anything, though maybe more often recently.
Even before that week in our fake lives.
Maybe that's part of what inspired them.
Do you?
<3
[ It would be really easy to say too much at this point, and he really doesn't want to ruin this, because this past week? It was good. And there's no reason to let that be anything but something nice that they have, without dragging complications into it all. He's just got a lot on his mind lately, even before those fake lives, and the last thing he wants is to drag anyone else into that.
He'll have to open up about it sooner or later, it's pretty inevitable, but... just not here and now.
It's too rare to just be happy for a while here, without something going sideways and making things difficult. Clary deserves to be happy. ]
So what else did you wind up in when I wasn't there?
Anything new and scandalous?
no subject
And even that doesn't count considering stripping is probably a rite of passage for actual natives.
The whole polyamory thing was definitely new, though.
But you knew about that, so... Not much else, I guess.
It was pretty standard stuff for the most part.